Life in Labels

A Guide to Self Medicating with Fiction

Posted on June 14, 2013 | 1 Comment

by Denise

Sure, Joceline is the med student/smartypants among us, but she’s not the only one with skills! I might not be able to correctly diagnose skin diseases, cut people open, or casually deal with above average amounts of blood, but I know a thing or two about the comforts of fiction, the sometimes necessary escapism into other worlds, and the inexplicable bliss that can be extracted from a story that seems to perfectly speak to the mood or situation you find yourself inhabiting against your will.

Below I’ve compiled a list of quarterlife crisis antedotes-via-fiction (both on the page and on the screen) which I have found to be particularly helpful during those very specific, hard-to-describe adultish times of woe.

Hey, if it's good enough for Rory and it's good enough for me, it's probably also good enough for you...

Hey, if it’s good enough for Rory Gilmore and it’s good enough for me, it’s probably also good enough for you…

MOOD #1: The “Everyone in the world is a phony. Facebook is a lie. Why must I participate in this charade? I want to build a cabin in the woods away from your snap chatting. LEAVE ME ALONE.” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: If you are a male, read Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. If you’re a female like me, read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Sure, The Bell Jar is a semi autobiographical novel about a young twenty-something girl with extreme depression, but hey – the more you read it, the more your life starts looking like an animated Disney movie in comparison. Also, it had some darkly funny parts to it that are reminisent of a better, more honest version of Girls.

MOOD #2: The “I just got in a car accident or similar adult-like emergency and, wait, now I have to be an adult and DEAL WITH THIS like an adult?” mood

FICTION PERSCRPTION: After you’ve gotten off the phone with your insurance claims agent (aka, your newest BFF), pop in an episode of Gilmore Girls – more specifically the one where Rory gets hit by a deer. The irony will bring you back to earth.

MOOD #3: The “All my friends are getting married and I’m eating a grilled cheese sandwich – BLERG!” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: Arrested Development, season 4 (as explained in this previous post)

MOOD #4: The “Men don’t offer their seats to pregnant women on the metro! No one says thank you! People shouldn’t talk so LOUDLY in public places. WHY ARE YOU WEARING FLIP FLOPS TO WORK?! The human race is doomed” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: When you find yourself mad at the world, read A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. The antics of Ignatius J. Reilly will make you laugh and soothe your bitter soul. I sometimes wish I could get away with being as ridiculous as him.

MOOD #5: The “It’s raining outside and my mind is wandering through a series of bittersweet memories…Where’s my snuggie?” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: Easily fixed. Watch Sabrina (the one with Audrey Hepburn, duh). See this post for a further explanation.

MOOD #6: The “It sucks to be a woman.” feeling (you know, if this is even applicable to you…)

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: Skim your worn down Judy Blume novels from yesteryear and you will remember how it used to suck more. Perspective, right?

MOOD #7: The “This deadline is stressing me out. WAAAA I’LL NEVER GET EVERYTHING DONE ON TIME and when will my heart stop beating at this CRAZY fast tempo?!” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: When you’ve jumped through the last hurdle of your time sensitive to-do list, watch The Hangover. I know this sounds strange, but trust me - it will make you feel better. Your deadline might’ve sucked, but at least you didn’t get roofied and have to retrace your steps while meeting it, right? Plus, it will obviously make you laugh.

MOOD #8: The “I’m an IDIOT most of the time and I have NO IDEA if I’m doing this life thing right. I wonder if anyone else noticed what a HOT MESS I am?” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: Read anything by Charles Bukowski. Seriously, in comparison, you will feel like the most together person on the planet and you will realize that there are a miriad of other ways you can be acting like an idiot – ways you have yet to explore (and probably never will). Relax and pat yourself on the back.

MOOD #9: The “I’m just plain cynical right now. All I want to do is mock something while simeltaneously cheering up in the process” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: Grab your best friend and some snacks, then watch Warm Bodies together. Emily and I did this on Tuesday night and I swear it worked like a charm. I honestly can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a movie that much. I wonder what that says about me/us…

MOOD #10: The “Boys are dumb. Let’s throw rocks at them.” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: Anything Jane Austen will meet your needs.

MOOD #11: The “I feel professionally/intellectually insecure and, hey, is this the right direction for my life?” mood

FICTION PERSCRIPTION: This varies from person to person. In my case, as a policy-oriented professional and soon-to-be graduate student, I heal myself with The West Wing (the opening credits alone make my heart soar with a sense of purpose…). If you’re an athlete, you should probably watch Rudy. If you’re a teacher, make it Dead Poets Society or Mr. Hollad’s Opus. If you’re a law student/young attorney, make it To Kill a Mockingbird. You get the general idea…

There you go – a nerdy former English Major’s holistic approach to mental healthcare.

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Posted in Denise

Tagged Bookworm, English Major, Nerd, Young Adult

Selfless/Selfish

Posted on June 5, 2013 | Leave a comment

So I’m on a surgery rotation again, this time as part of my fourth year electives. It’s my “acting internship”, where I’m signed up for it because I’m considering surgery as a career pretty strongly (we’ll talk about that later). Last time I was on surgery, as a third year, we talked about how I was a huge bitch. I was! I was a cranky jerk. This time I think it’s been a little better, because I took a step back and thought about how people, nice people even, can be jerks when they’re in demanding situations, even though they don’t mean to be.

I’ll start by explaining that there’s a certain joy that comes from pushing yourself really hard and denying yourself something you want. Many med students have a bit of a masochistic streak, but even if you don’t, it’s empowering to know that you are capable of standing for 6-8 hours, in the same position, without eating, drinking, peeing, talking, or really moving at all. Six to eight hours is the average “long” surgery, and I don’t think I’ve been in any one operation that was longer than nine, and that was just once. But the longest I heard from a classmate was fourteen hours, in the same operation, with no breaks. He said the attending didn’t take any, so he didn’t either. Seriously, props.

Comes back to what I say you need to have to be a doctor: Small ego, big heart, bigger bladder.

Comes back to what I say you need to be a doctor: Small ego, big heart, bigger bladder.

It’s not just physically the operations, it’s also the long hours (and this goes for any medical specialty, not just surgery). You wake up in the early morning and are pissed that it’s 4:30am, but part of you is a little proud of yourself. “I work hard, I worked 15 hours today.” “I worked 31 hours straight on my call night.” Cue the pissing contests of how long you worked and how little you slept, and always subtract an hour or two because people tend to self-inflate. I understand–one of the only redeeming factors about long hours and not getting to eat or pee when you want is that at least you get to brag about it. Still, keep in mind that there are people in the hospital who will laugh you out of the room if you think 15 hours (or even 30 hours) is a long day.

Sometimes though, when I wasn’t careful, it would start to twist me a little bit. I never ate breakfast anyway, and occasionally I would get to dinner without having had the time to eat lunch. I felt pretty shitty, but part of me felt like it showed I was working hard. Could I have taken five minutes out of my “busy” day to run to the cafeteria and grab a protein bar? (I say “busy” because when you’re a med student, you’re really not that vital to the team. You can go get food and no one will be pissed.) Sure, but being selfless–denying myself that trip to the cafeteria, or not drinking because I knew I’d have to pee and I didn’t want to have to ask to leave in the OR–felt like I was working harder and doing a better job.

It didn’t help that one of my interns once teased another intern for eating lunch. “Weakness!” he said. It might have stuck with me.

Maybe it was the low blood sugar, but I started using the unwillingness to care for myself as a proxy for caring for someone else. But it wasn’t, and it can never be. Refusing to take care of yourself–and not just in the basic tasks of food and hygiene–doesn’t make you any better at caring for patients. I thought I was putting more of myself into my job by making myself tired and hungry, but I was really just doing a worse job. Why? Because when I denied myself of things, I was just making myself miserable and smug. Miserable smug people are hard to work with, because they’re judgmental, of patients or other people on staff, nurses, the like. “You think you’re tired? I’m tired…of your bitching! Your feet hurt? MY feet hurt! You’ve been lying in bed all day!” It’s hard to listen or relate to other people when you’re the center of your own universe.

By denying myself of things I wanted or needed, I got resentful, without even really recognizing it. You can’t not eat or sleep and expect it to make you an effective doctor. True selflessness shouldn’t make you resentful, because if you’re giving up something, it should be because it’s the right thing to do, and because you want to. So go on the run. Pack yourself a lunch or just scarf something down from the caf. Watch a mindless TV show for a little bit. Take care of yourself before you start trying to take care of someone else. By making yourself happy you stop feeling like everyone around you is annoying (it’s magical, really, how everyone stops being annoying when you’re not completely miserable).

I’ll end with a story about my mother, who doesn’t believe in being selfless. She has a Ph.D. in analytical chemistry but became a stay-at-home mom to raise my two sisters and me (and my little sister has learning disabilities, so it was not a small feat). I have always been grateful to her sacrificing her career for us, but once when I was trying to talk to her about it, she said, “What sacrifice? Sacrifice is when you give up something when you don’t want to. I don’t believe in that, because when you sacrifice, you end up resenting other people and yourself. I stayed at home because I wanted to, because I cared about raising you.” Aww, thanks Mom.

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Posted in Joceline

All My Friends Are Getting Married, and I’m Eating a Grilled Cheese.

Posted on June 3, 2013 | 2 Comments

Last weekend, two-thirds of the Life in Labels crew took planes, trains, and automobiles to make it to Cleveland for the wedding of our dear friend Lizzie and her wonderful now-husband Lance.

Along the way, we also casually stopped off in Norfolk (Denise) and Richmond (Emily) to be a bridesmaid and attend a bachelorette party, respectively.

Denise is pretty!

Not that we over-schedule our lives or have insane social calendars or anything…

By Sunday evening, we were both exhausted. We found ourselves in a giant fluffy bed with two giant pieces of leftover wedding cake (props to Lizzie and Lance for picking such a delicious pastry!), wallowing in our pajamas, binge watching Arrested Development, and ordering one insanely overpriced (yet completely worth it) grilled cheese sandwich and fries from room service… before sleeping for about 12 hours.

bed, sandwich, pjs, bff.

And that’s why one day we will co-author a book after the following list, All My Friends Are Getting Married, and I’m Eating a Grilled Cheese Sandwich: How to Find Love and Happiness ~~When The Rest of Your Friends Already Have It All~~ in the 21st Century:

1. Small propeller planes give you the opportunity to have intimate conversations with potential suitors on board. They also provide a lot of white-noise covered time to reflect deeply on your prospects and life thus far.

YOLO.

2. Practice responsibility… with everyone ELSE’S children.

babies + hazardous objects? no problem!

3. Surround yourself with eligible men.

just ignore the Dominican attire….

4. Remember that your best girlfriends are still willing to ditch their dates/fiances/husbands for a few songs to dance with you, especially if it involves Icona Pop’s anthem “I Don’t Care/I Love It“

wedding table of champions/dance party of macarena masters

5. Remember that even your almost-married friends are still surprised by marriage.

I’m getting married?

6. Bachelorette parties are a great time to demand free drinks ~~for yourself~~ on behalf of the bride-to-be!

7. Married friends still have fun. Sometimes.

sooo Lambeth right now

8. CAKE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS.

cakeeeeeee

cake cake cake cake cakeee

9. At least all our friends aren’t dead. They’re just married.

(all my friends are dead via NoMoreFriends)

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Posted in Denise, Emily D.

Tagged Bridesmaid, postgrad, Postgraduate, Young Adult

Mixologist

Posted on May 18, 2013 | Leave a comment

Happy Weekend! In one of my greater strokes of genius, I recently got a bit adventurous with my blender and threw in the only fruits I had in my fridge:

Quarter of a watermelon

Juice of one lemon

6 oz. blueberries

And so, I found myself sitting at my desk at 12:30 on a Friday, sipping on an organic, all-natural slurpee. The only thing that would have made it better was some Grey Goose.

And now you know MY weekend plans…

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Posted in Emily D., Our Favorite Things

Tagged Mixologist

In Which I Suck at Texting, but Win at Life

Posted on May 17, 2013 | 1 Comment

(Alternate Post Title: ”Why I will likely be alone for the rest of my life…”)

By Denise

Monday:

Boy: Hey

Tuesday:

Boy: Hey

Wednesday:

Me: Hey! Hope you’re having a good week.

Boy: Yeah going by fast. Yours?

Thursday:

Me: Slowly! I can’t wait for the weekend!

Boy: What’s with chicks taking 24 hours to reply to a text

Me: “I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.”

Boy: Alright

Conclusion? If you call me a “chick,” I will respond in a Lucille-like fashion.

(and then write a post about it on a blog that no one reads…)

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Posted in Denise

Tagged Fan, Single

Everyday Happy

Posted on May 13, 2013 | Leave a comment

It’s the end of another Monday and I am sitting at my desk. No, of course I’m not blogging on work time… I would never do that. But it’s Monday, and I am happy. Not exceptionally giddy or enthusiastically ecstatic.. just, you know, happy. In an everyday-happy kind of way. This is a pretty great feeling since I spent the past two Mondays feeling mournfully sad as a result of a too-happy weekend in Charlottesville and an exhausting-yet-fun weekend in Pittsburgh, respectively. Also, it rained the past two Mondays and was about 60 degrees. In May. I mean, come on weather!

But I digress.

So today I am happy. It’s for a variety of reasons… rather small reasons, actually. But I’m really enjoying how all of these everyday things have made me happy, and you know – I think it would be a disservice to everyone’s Monday if I didn’t share them and let you be happy, too.

On Friday, I got a massage with The Boyfriend.

(Unnecessary details: I haven’t gotten a massage since third year of college, and over the past 5 years (five?! How has it been that long??) I have experienced some of the happiest times of my life… accompanied by about twice as many of the most stressful times. Every day, every week, every month I make promises to abide by Aziz Ansari’s command to “treat yo’self!”… and then promptly get carried away by more stress. So Friday, I went for it. And somehow, getting myself TO the point of this treat was still stressful. I fussed about being late and planning, and argued with The Boyfriend the entire way to the spa. I was the most miserable person on the planet. And then, this magical man laid his hands on me. No, not The Boyfriend.)

…This was followed by a Shake Shack concrete with truffle cookie dough.

AMAZE.

I spent Saturday babysitting my favorite almost-4-year-old twins – coloring, playing school, eating waffles, and learning new phrases like “choppy chicks” (chocolate chips, duh).

The afternoon passed while surfing my parents’ DVR with them and catching up on the few shows that I still watch.

Then I ate some fresh homemade cookies and re-found my ice cream maker, and discovered Game of Thrones (at Denise’s urging). My first thought was, “Wow, my hygiene standards wouldn’t allow me to exist in an epic fantasy realm.” And then, I was like MUST BINGE-WATCH THE OTHER 30 EPISODES IMMEDIATELY.

On Sunday, my family and I attended the senior-citizen service at Grammy’s church (oh hey, Ascension Sunday!) where the pastor incorporated the impending cicada infestation into the sermon.

this is all I can think of when people say “cicadas”

We all went to Charlottesville for Mother’s Day Brunch with Grammy.

oh, family, you are cute.

Gracie and I spent some time picking fresh strawberries and antiquing. Summer, you taste so good.

three days early on the harvest.

And I even got to continuing my current reading pick, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry.

Late Sunday afternoon was spent “shopping” in Grammy’s old jewelry.

grammy’s response every time we asked for the story behind a piece/who gave it to her “ehhh, one of those boyfriends probably.”

And later that night, we introduced Grammy to Facetime… and of course Biko was involved.

grammy lecturing biko on turning his tail on her

I wrapped up the weekend with an excellent (easy!) new smoothie recipe: 1 frozen banana + 6 oz. unsweetened vanilla almond milk + 4 ice cubes + 1 tsp. cinnamon

Finally, this was the [slightly-overloaded-with-feelings] theme song of my weekend, as I reflected on my beautiful mom, Grammy, and family as a whole:

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Posted in Emily D.

Tagged Daughter, Granddaughter, happy

Some [Long Overdue] Label Updates

Posted on May 7, 2013 | 1 Comment

by Denise

So…it’s been a while. Oops.

But seriously, it seems like each time I consider writing a post, something pressing intervenes.

You know, like Cinco de Mayo.

(This is the part where I binge blog with random tidbits and instagrams to make myself feel less like a slacker for ignoring this blog for most of spring.)

Here goes…

Twenty Something

Emily, in her infinite wisdom, forced a group of us to read this book:

Never in my life have a felt such a crazy cocktail of emotions. I read this book in a 36-hour, stressful window of my life filled with flights and major life decisions. Timing? Not great. Wisdom? Undeniable. Meg Jay, I want to high-five you, but I won’t because I should be acting more grown-up, shouldn’t I? I’ll shake your hand instead. Firm grip, firm grip.

If you are in your twenties and want to know why you should be forming your narrative, leveraging weak ties, being personally/professionally intentional and facing the realities of your biological timeline before you get a reality slap, then you should read this book. It’s worth your time.

Also, in related news, you can read about my “Quarterlife Crisis” here.

Bookworm

Speaking of literacy, I’ve been reading more than writing these days. I have a large bucket list of books to tackle before I once again enter a lifestyle where my reading is no longer selected, but assigned (more on that later). While I still have the luxury of choice, I want to take advantage of it. Suggestions are welcome!

The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (for my Banned Book Club! I know – I’m so cool)
A Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by Fr. James Martin, S.J.
Captive Audience by Susan Crawford
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Women by Charles Bukowski (also for my Banned Book Club…obviously)
The Casual Vacancy by JK Rowling
A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin
A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin
All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John

Kind of kidding about that last one (maybe?).

Young D.C. Professional

I’m enjoying the short window of spring loveliness before the full blown D.C. swamp weather encloses us all in a giant steam room for the summer. This area of the country is so pleasant during transitional seasons. I’ve been loving all the lunchtime walks, sunsets and picnics. I wish I could press pause, but I can’t.

Blankets of Blossoms

Sculpture Garden Strolls

A few beautiful people

The Edge of the Tidal Basin

It’s hard to mock tour groups when it’s so pretty outside

Evening on the Georgetown Waterfront

Fan

May 26th.

Undercover Vegan

I’m currently debating whether I will still hold my vegan label in any official capacity. Basically, it would be nice to eat vegan 95% of the time without having to explain myself for offer up a disclaimer on my eating habits – especially to people I’ve just met. Can’t I just be a secret vegan in plain sight? Can’t I just eat whatever the heck I want without having to talk about it?

This topic deserves a post of its own. More later.

Graduate Student

Not yet, but soon! Huzzah for my new label and my upcoming academic adventures! I’ll let my spirit animal, Tina Fey, tell you where I’m going.

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Posted in Denise, Labels in Life

Life in Labels

A Guide to Self Medicating with Fiction

There you go – a nerdy former English Major’s holistic approach to mental healthcare.

Selfless/Selfish

All My Friends Are Getting Married, and I’m Eating a Grilled Cheese.

(all my friends are dead via NoMoreFriends)

Mixologist

In Which I Suck at Texting, but Win at Life

Conclusion? If you call me a “chick,” I will respond in a Lucille-like fashion.

(and then write a post about it on a blog that no one reads…)

Everyday Happy

Some [Long Overdue] Label Updates

Twenty Something

Bookworm

Young D.C. Professional

Fan

Undercover Vegan

Graduate Student

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