Single

If you’re hoping to read a juicy,  somewhat bitter pre-Valentine’s Day rant from a single girl, I suggest you go elsewhere. I shan’t be throwing a Bridget Jones Pity Party on this blog. Twenty-two is too young to go to such extremes:

To be honest, I don’t feel particularly passionate or bitter about this “single” label…but I guess that’s the revolutionary point. I’m not crying. I’m not chugging a bottle of wine. I’m not gushing over the phone with my girlfriends about my relationship status and I don’t believe Valentine’s Day is out to get me. It’s just what I am. I’m single. No big deal.

You know what? Despite media portrayals like the above, I really believe most single women share this mature attitude. After all, normal people don’t dwell on their singleness on the average day, but for some odd reason on February 14th there is pressure to set aside one’s routine and mourn this state of being. Keep in mind that the Anti-Valentine sentiment can be just as disruptive and marketable as its romantic counterpart. Think about it. Who do you think really buys all that chocolate on V-Day?

Maybe it’s my age that’s keeping me so calm about this label. Will singleness get more complicated as time passes? See the following chart for the cultural answer to that question:

Fate or fabrication?

Notice the very narrow peak in a female’s mid to late twenties in which they can  ideally settle down. I’ve deemed this the “Rom Com Window” because if you aspire to fall in love in a Katherine Heigelesque fashion you best do it then. If you do it earlier you might be labeled knocked-up, uneducated or old fashioned. Any later…and apparently it’s just a roller coaster plunge to knitting and cats (though both Joceline and guest blogger Emily have proved how cool those can be).

Notice how different the male chart looks. The last stages are very different and the “Rom Com Window” is significantly wider. I apologize in advance to the perfectly nice young men who read our blog and do not fit this mold (ex: Lauren‘s husband). I hope this exaggeration doesn’t offend you…

Proof that life isn't fair?

Fellow single ladies, our chart only has power if we believe it to be true. The stereotypes in it are products of insecurity and bandwagoning.* Before any of us host an Anti-Valentine’s Day Party, scowl at happy couples out to dinner or snuggle with Ben & Jerry, we should pause and remember that by reacting thus we inadvertently send the message that we believe the sad, sad graph above. If you really want to support the single cause then let’s ban together and act like the sane, lovely women we are. Go about your business. February 14th is just another Monday, right?**

*and probably Disney

**Well…let’s not forget the often overlooked brothers Saint Cyril and Saint Methodius whose memories are also honored on February 14th. Through their translations and missionary work they spread the Gospel to the Slavic peoples. This geeky footnote is brought to you by my Catholic label.