Hydrated

There is no literature indicating that drinking water is going out of style. But try telling that to my body. I’m obsessed with drinking water (←not an overstatement). I have a huge collection of comically enormous water bottles that travel around with me, and I’d guess I go through four liters a day on average. Easy. I love water so much. In fact, here’s a clip of me defending water against a team of football-playing Henry Winklers:

I owe my mass hydration habit in part to coffee, oddly enough. I’ve always been big on H2o, but since I started working as a barista last August I’ve been in the habit of suckin’ down way too much coffee, and I learned that being super hopped on caffeine makes me feel gross. To balance out all that dehydration, I made up the rule that for every coffee beverage I consume, I need two big ole’ waters. Then I extended that rule to booze, and pretty soon all other beverages as well. I’ve convinced myself that water is a magical cure-all. Feeling bloated? Drink some water! Not sleeping well? Get more water! Sprained your ankle? Snake bite? Pink eye? Anxiety? Duh, hydrate.

Such a habit poses a number of fantastic benefits. For one, I tend to avoid the shaky, fatigued awfulness of dehydration. For two, my skin is soft as hell (and I’m BIGTIME into moisturizing in the first place, so I’m basically surrounded in soft silkiness that I can only imagine Invisibility Cloak must feel like). I can usually consume salty deliciousness like it ain’t no thang, and my ability to outsmart a hangover is well-honed. My energy levels tend to be pretty stable and predictable, and I haven’t relied on chapstick (?!) for months and months.

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty. This is my philosophy.

The downside? I pee a frigging ton. Evidently, this is actually quite good for my decision-making faculties, but I think my boss assumes I have either some strange ritualistic habits, or a drug problem, given the frequency of my bathroom breaks. And, as a result of such frequency, I wash my hands a LOT. Which would probably result in chapped hands if I didn’t drink so much water as to arm my skin in a protective orb of supple smoothness. But now I’ve spoiled my body into thinking tons of water need be the norm; if I start feeling cranky, tired, or out of sorts, I can generally trace it back to several hours without some ridiculous amount of h2o. The solution of course, is easy, and so I continue being the cool girl toting around zillions of water bottles.

Some of my favs (that biggie on the right is my pride and joy). Also in background of photo: a water glass on the counter and a bottle on the coffee table. Awesome.