Some Label Lessons

Nerd

Lesson: If I want to inflict my nerdiness on others (and say, force friends to watch Game Change with me), then free food and wine is the best bait.

Julianne Moore for President

Commuter

Lesson: Using one’s turn signal is a sign of weakness. Doing so implies that you’re asking permission for an action…and no one asks permission for anything on Route 66.

Catholic

Lesson: When new people discover I’m Catholic, I must learn to accept that at least a few of them will immediantly (and unfortunately) associate me with Rick Santorum.

Yarn Lady

Lesson: It is apparently not socially acceptable for me to start knitting a baby blanket for fun…especially if a baby recipient that does not exist yet. Instead, I just tell people I’m making a scarf for a giant. This confuses them, but at least it doesn’t creep them out.

Does anyone want to get pregnant so I can feel less lame about this random craft project? Thanks.

Vegan

Lesson: FYI, the calories in Trader Joe’s vegan dark chocolate covered cranberries do  NOT actually count.  Also, the box contains two servings – not nine like the nutritional label foolishly says. Emily D. taught me that.*

*We sort-of-kind-of-accidently-on-purpose split an entire box last Saturday night. Oops.