by Joceline
There are three types of girls: high-maintenance, low-maintenance, and those who say they’re low-maintenance, but are actually high-maintenance.
This post is not about being fussy or being laidback. It’s about the third: the girl who likes to bring up the fact that she’s so chill, implying that being high-maintenance makes you an unrelatable b. In my experience, it’s because we think guys like low-maintenance women. So one tactic is to highlight how not high-maintenance you are.
These girls say things like:
- “You’re taking forever to get ready. It took me five minutes.”
- “God, girls. I hate constant drama. So catty.” Because making blanket statements about other girls isn’t catty.
- “I don’t like expensive things.”
- “I don’t mind when [significant other] talks to other chicks. I’m not a jealous bitch.”
- “You’re drinking a vodka soda? I’d like a beer.”
- “Why are you so dressed up? I’m just wearing a t-shirt.”
- “I never get manicures.” …And? It’s not a personality trait.
- “I don’t even own a blowdryer.”
Note that these statements may all seem innocuous when you’re just reading them–I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with liking beer or t-shirts, or not owning a blowdryer (heck, I don’t, I just don’t think it’s something to brag about). It’s the judging that rubs me the wrong way, or the quiet implication that: if you drink floofy drinks or get manicures, that makes you more demanding, therefore I am better.
What’s my point? You will never catch someone who is truly low-maintenance say, “I am so mellow, did I mention I’m really casual, and I’m easygoing too?” If they’re actually low-maintenance, they won’t be thinking about it, so they won’t brag about how much attention they don’t need. Bottom line: if you’re high-maintenance, that’s fine. If you’re low-maintenance, that’s great! But if you’re putting other girls down because you think that guys like chill girls better, can it.
As for me, I’m definitely high-maintenance. Less so financially or with material gifts, but emotionally? I’ll say it myself, I’m pretty damn clingy in a relationship. Full disclosure! It’s only fair to everyone involved. And the solution is not to change what level of attention to require–or to pretend you need less than you actually do. We might think guys like chill girls, but really some guys like chill girls, and some guys like fussy ones.
Also, now that I’m done writing this post I realize that When Harry Met Sally did it better.
Harry: There are two kinds of women, high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally: Which one am I?
Harry: You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance, but you think you’re low maintenance.
Sally: I don’t see that.
Harry: You don’t see that? “Waiter, I’ll begin with the house salad “but I don’t want the regular dressing. “I’ll have the balsamic vinegar and oil but on the side. “And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, “but I want the mustard sauce on the side.” “On the side” is a very big thing for you.
Sally: Well, I just want it the way I want it.
OWN it, Sally–”I just want it the way I want it.” No need to pretend or bash anyone.
Love that scene. Wonder which kind I am…