Tag Archives: Bridesmaid

All My Friends Are Getting Married, and I’m Eating a Grilled Cheese.

Posted on June 3, 2013 | 2 Comments

Last weekend, two-thirds of the Life in Labels crew took planes, trains, and automobiles to make it to Cleveland for the wedding of our dear friend Lizzie and her wonderful now-husband Lance.

Along the way, we also casually stopped off in Norfolk (Denise) and Richmond (Emily) to be a bridesmaid and attend a bachelorette party, respectively.

Denise is pretty!

Denise is pretty!

Not that we over-schedule our lives or have insane social calendars or anything…

By Sunday evening, we were both exhausted. We found ourselves in a giant fluffy bed with two giant pieces of leftover wedding cake (props to Lizzie and Lance for picking such a delicious pastry!), wallowing in our pajamas, binge watching Arrested Development, and ordering one insanely overpriced (yet completely worth it) grilled cheese sandwich and fries from room service… before sleeping for about 12 hours.

bed, sandwich, pjs, bff.

bed, sandwich, pjs, bff.

And that’s why one day we will co-author a book after the following list, All My Friends Are Getting Married, and I’m Eating a Grilled Cheese Sandwich: How to Find Love and Happiness When The Rest of Your Friends Already Have It All in the 21st Century:

1. Small propeller planes give you the opportunity to have intimate conversations with potential suitors on board. They also provide a lot of white-noise covered time to reflect deeply on your prospects and life thus far.

YOLO.

YOLO.

2. Practice responsibility… with everyone ELSE’S children.

babies + hazardous objects? no problem!

babies + hazardous objects? no problem!

3. Surround yourself with eligible men.

just ignore the Dominican attire....

just ignore the Dominican attire….

4. Remember that your best girlfriends are still willing to ditch their dates/fiances/husbands for a few songs to dance with you, especially if it involves Icona Pop’s anthem “I Don’t Care/I Love It“

wedding table of champions/dance party of macarena masters

wedding table of champions/dance party of macarena masters

5. Remember that even your almost-married friends are still surprised by marriage.

I'm getting married?

I’m getting married?

6. Bachelorette parties are a great time to demand free drinks for yourself on behalf of the bride-to-be!

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7. Married friends still have fun. Sometimes.

sooo Lambeth right now

sooo Lambeth right now

8. CAKE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS.

cakeeeeeee

cakeeeeeee

cake cake cake cake cakeee

cake cake cake cake cakeee

9. At least all our friends aren’t dead. They’re just married.

AllMyFriendsAreDead_1

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All My Friends 3

AllMyFriendsAreDead_4

(all my friends are dead via NoMoreFriends)

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10 Things Hollywood Taught Me About Weddings (aka Confessions of a Rookie Maid of Honor)

Posted on June 15, 2011 | 1 Comment

This was not a royal wedding...

I was only twenty when my older sister dubbed me her maid of honor. She passed over far more experienced and poised candidates from her social circle in the name of family obligation, bless her heart! At that time in my life, I’d been to a grand total of two weddings and could really only remember one of them.  To make matters worse, I’d been to just one bridal shower (our guest blogger Nichole’s, as a matter of fact), I’d never so much as tasted a jordan almond, and my idea of a classy party favor was still a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker. Despite my ignorance, I embraced this new, shiny label with both optimism and false confidence. Why?

HOLLYWOOD!

Sure, I didn’t have any hands-on experience, but I was armed with an arsenal of entertaining 90-minute wedding lessons. Like many American females, I’d spent a good portion of my teen years (sleepovers, girls’ nights, etc.) preparing for this test of sisterhood. What can I say? I was a sentimental, girly nerd with a ton of stored up research just waiting for practical application. You name the chick flick and I’ve probably watched it, and if for some reason I haven’t, I’ve at least seen the trailer (which in most cases is enough to deduce the entire plot arc).

So, based on my literature review of memorable movie scenes, I entered my maid of honorhood with the following ten kernels of wedding wisdom:

  1. It is totally possible to to afford destination wedding travel and 27 separate bridesmaids dresses (plus alterations) on an assistant’s salary over the course of just a few years. Huzzah!
  2. It’s acceptable to temporarily fall in love with another man on the eve of your wedding then marry someone else who is both NOT the original groom and NOT the man you temporarily fell in love with the night before (as long as said men are Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant).
  3. Ignore any rational financial protests from the father of the bride. His stress equals comedic relief and, if he is someone like Steve Martin, he will just turn his pain into something endearing. Seriously, it’s not a problem.
  4. It’s only O.K. to make spontaneous decisions about marriage (hasty engagements, ceremonies planned in less than two weeks, etc.) if you’re in Ireland or Scotland.
  5. Under pressing circumstances, it is acceptable to secretly bring either a male hooker or your gay best friend as an escort. In fact, he will become the most popular guest at the wedding.
  6. If you are experiencing any doubt, ditch your fiancé on the day of your wedding. Don’t do it earlier – that makes no sense at all.
  7. If you have a crush on Spiderman, but you are about to marry someone normal [who is NOT contracted to do an underwhelming sequel with an unfortunate dance interlude], don’t go through with the wedding.
  8. The groom is not actually an important part of the wedding. In fact, if your wedding is made into a movie, expect you and your childhood frenemy to be the main focus. Your fiancé should have few lines no character development.
  9. The only sure-fire way to have an epic wedding is to be Greek. If that is impossible, become a pirate.
  10. There is an Uncle Ned in every family.
As you can imagine, it quickly became obvious that my Hollywood education had not prepared me for the real world of weddings . In the real world, the printer rebelled against my homemade bridal shower invitations.  In the real world, I confess I sometimes cared more about my college finals than my sister’s menu.  In the real world, my sister had no intention of running away with Jimmy Stewart or Carey Grant. In the real world (or at least in my non-Greek family), there was no Uncle Ned! I had no choice but to unlearn the list above. It turns out the only thing I had to offer my sister as a rookie maid of honor was my good intentions. Looking back, I hope that was enough.*

But in the real world, wedding photos are much cooler.

Though chick flicks and magazines might indicate otherwise, I truly believe that being a good maid of honor is less about following a cookie-cutter check list and more about being present, obedient, and – as Lauren said – making the bride feel special.** Flexibility is also key. Groom in the Navy and a few thousand leagues under the sea during the bulk of wedding planning? That’s OK. If you can’t make that funny/romantic groom  Q&A video you’d originally planned for the bridal shower, just email him ahead of time then get his brother/best man to dress up like a pirate (Pirate…Navy…get it?!) and impersonate the groom while reading his real answers to the camera. O.K., perhaps Martha Stewart wouldn’t have approved of my creative license in that particular case, but it made the bride smile and that was all I cared about at the time! Anyway, I was her little sister so it was a perfect situation all around; I was used to her bossing me around and, no matter what happened, neither of us was allowed to hate the other at the end of the day! 

Something Blue!

For the most part, Hollywood was unhelpful. It turns out that not everything you see in the movies is true. Who would’ve thought, right?  I would recommend inexperienced bridesmaids like myself to rely on their instincts first and, if those suck, just ask Joceline for help since she seems to know everything. Still, despite all the listed media misconceptions, I recall one specific cheesy bit from “27 Dresses” that rang true. In the movie, Katherine Heigl (see her appearance here in our RomCom Chart) and her cynical love interest both bond over the fact that their favorite part of a wedding ceremony is watching the groom gaze at the bride as she walks down the isle. This is 100% true. All manly poker faces break down. I was lucky to get through the ceremony with any mascara at all after witnessing that moment…

*Dear Sister: If it wasn’t, never fear. I’m sure you’ll get your revenge.
**For the sake of this blog post, I’m going to pretend that being a maid of honor once allows me to write on this topic with great authority. Humor me.

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The Dos and Don’ts of Being a Bridesmaid

Posted on June 14, 2011 | 2 Comments
Salt Lake Temple Wedding

At my sister's wedding in 2010.

I got engaged in 2009 and decided that I wanted to have four bridesmaids. (Even numbers of bridesmaids are a must because odd numbers don’t balance out photos. What’s that? You think I’m putting photographs before people? Okay so maybe I did go a bit overboard on the details of my wedding. But it was my wedding… right?)

It was hard to choose, but I eventually decided on four people I knew would already be in Utah during my wedding and who would be part of the rest of my life: my sister (duh), my best friend from high school, and two of my friends who I’d roomed with for the past three years at college.

Four months later (and one month before my wedding), I decided not to have any bridesmaids. (Okay, actually my mom convinced me not to have bridesmaids after hearing about everything that was going on.)

It wasn’t that my bridesmaids were awful or that I was a bridezilla (at least, I hope not); it just became very clear to me (over the course of a couple of drama-filled months) that not having bridesmaids was a lot easier (and cheaper) than having bridesmaids.

If you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid this summer, here’s my honest list of things that I wish my bridesmaids would have done (or not done) to make things easier on me.

Bridesmaid Dos and Don’ts

  • Do ask the bride what you can do to help her, and be someone she can trust to get things done. Planning a wedding is hard work and no bride wants to feel like she has to do everything herself.
  • Do offer to pay for your own dress. This is a traditional custom (depending a bit on the type of wedding), and the bride should try to accommodate her bridesmaids by picking something both inexpensive and re-wearable. Do remember that the bride is probably trying to balance a budget of thousands of dollars and is having to make money decisions right and left.
  • Don’t delay giving the maid of honor and bride your dress size because you are either too busy to get back to them or because you think you might lose a few pounds before the wedding.
  • Don’t get pregnant. The bride should be understanding, but in truth, she probably doesn’t want your growing baby bump to be part of the wedding party.
  • Don’t complain to your fellow bridesmaids that you think the dress the bride picked out is ugly and looks like a bag. This WILL get back to the bride, who has probably worked very hard to find a dress that is both affordable and looks good on a variety of body types.
  • Do make yourself available for the bride to bounce wedding ideas off of. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know much about wedding flowers, seating arrangements, or up dos. The bride needs someone to ask about and then support her decisions.
  • Don’t get engaged and steal the bride’s thunder when you start planning your own wedding before the details for her wedding are finalized.
  • Do throw the bride a bridal shower, but Don’t wait so long get the bridal shower invitations out that most of the guests are already busy with other plans.
  • Don’t get depressed that one of your best friends is getting married before you are and start a rebound relationship with an ex that you just spent all summer complaining to said best friend about.
  • Do make sure you’re there for the bride on her wedding day; being there for set up, running extra errands, decorating the getaway car, and pictures is a must.
To make a long story short, my fiance and I just decided to have our families be our wedding party (6 grandparents, 4 parents, 2 sisters, 5 brothers, and 1 sister-in-law IS a lot of people to include) and my friends really did an amazing job helping me out on my wedding day.  While I regret the drama that my decision caused and hope that I didn’t permanently hurt anyone’s feelings, I don’t really regret my decision not to have bridesmaids.
life in labels wedding week
I’ve been a bridesmaid twice now (the above photo is with this bride), and while I did a much better job my second time, I wasn’t perfect, either. (Joceline, on the other hand, sounds like an ideal bridesmaid. Jump on that if you can, girls!)
I would say that the most important thing is:
  • Do be happy for the bride and do everything you can to make her feel special! 
lifeinlabels wedding week
life in labels wedding week

P.S. That's me next to the bride and Husband on the far right!

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[Kind of a] Bridesmaid

Posted on June 13, 2011 | 5 Comments

I unapologetically love weddings.


Other people’s weddings, that is.  Although I’m single and marriage is decidedly not my horizon right now, hearing about other people’s (or should I say girls’, it’s only ever girls that are willing to talk about this stuff) weddings makes me extremely happy.  First of all, large groups of color-coordinated people caters right to my inner social photographer.  And then there’s just so much fun stuff to plan and prepare.  I’ll leave the venue-reserving, DJ-choosing, and mother-in-law-wrangling to the professional wedding planners, but if there’s a name for someone who gets all the little decorative touches done, well, I might have found myself a new hobby.  So if you find me creeping around on the day of your wedding, arranging flowers and doing the bridesmaids’ makeup…er, sorry, I’ll leave.

Call me industrious, but I can make these all day. Champagne not required.

“But Joceline, making bouquets and folding placecards sounds like drudgery, not fun.”  Ah, but you’re forgetting my craft-obsessed, nature-loving, perfectionist tendencies.  I’ve only been to one wedding where I was actually involved in the preparations, but it made me realize that being a maid of honor would be a blast.  One of my best friends got married last January, and we had spent the summer before baking practice wedding cakes in case she decided to make her own. “Why don’t you come a couple days early so we can make the groom’s cake for the rehearsal dinner,” she told me in one phone call before I flew out for the big day.

I did, and over the course of a couple of days, I helped make the corsages, boutonnieres, bouquets, flower arrangements, placecards, sewed her garter, did her hair and makeup for the rehearsal, and snuck up to the top of the church during the ceremony to play the music for her entry and exit.  And it was awesome.  But yes, I admit that I might enjoy the minutiae more than the average person might.  I really don’t mind picking the thorns off of a tableful of roses at 3 am.  Would I do it for a random stranger?  Maybe not.  But since I was trying to make my dear friend’s big day as beautiful as she ever dreamed it, I wanted to complete every single mindless task, down to the very last sprig of baby’s breath.

Things go wrong.  And it’s okay.
So what about that groom’s cake?  Well, I got there and we immediately started mixing up a three-tiered, fondant-covered cake decorated with gum-paste tennis balls, fish, and music notes (it’s supposed to pay homage to the groom’s various hobbies at the rehearsal dinner).  Eggs were beaten, fondant was rolled, flour dusted every horizontal surface in that kitchen.  And when we finished the next day, the cake was adorable.

On the left, one of our practice cakes from the summer, and on the right, our masterpiece.

Well, there we were, after the wedding rehearsal, driving from the chapel to the restaurant for dinner.  I was holding the cake on baking sheet, when there we went around a corner…and the cake went flying.  Upside down.  Onto the floor of the car.

You could have heard my heart shattering.  We salvaged it, but you could see the marks where my poor fingers had clutched the cake in desperation.  Cole’s hobbies were scattered across the car.  I was cringing as we carried it into dinner.  But it was fine.  We cut our losses and soon forgot about it (although MariAnn still calls that corner “Joceline’s Bend”).  The ceremony was lovely (including the Star Wars music that the happy couple exited to).  The reception was a ridiculous party.  Someone got body-slammed to the floor, someone tripped over the sound system, and one of the groomsmen faceplanted while asking the DJ to play LMFAO’s “Shots”, leaving four of his teeth on the dancefloor in the process.  So, I guess if you asked me why I love weddings, it might be a toss-up between the preparation…and the boozy possibilities of the reception.

Flowers are fun, but dancing all night is even more fun. Oh, and helping the bride out with her voluminous skirts is a must.

Oh, also, I’ve lately started wasting a lot of time browsing the wedding eye candy that can be found at The Perfect Palette, dedicated to helping you find your wedding colors.  It’s aesthetically addictive, but don’t let your significant other see you perusing if you don’t want to answer any awkward questions.

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Posted in Joceline, Wedding Week

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