Tag Archives: grateful

In regards to those times when I am forced to feel feelings

by Emily

With Thanksgiving this past week, there were a lot of feelings in the air. In fact, there were a lot of feelings for pretty much the entire month of November. As previously discussed, I don’t do feelings. My family knows this, my friends know this… it’s just a fact. But Thanksgiving has somehow steamrolled my resolve this year, and my cup has runneth over with emotions lately.

First there was the Thankfulness Tree at work.

rhombus leaves full of feelings

Then there were a few birthday celebrations for some near and dear people in my life.

I manifest my feelings in craft projects, apparently – like inserting someone’s name into a dozen beer labels…

Then there was Friendsgiving.

more feelings manifested in crafts. strewn from wall to wall. by the hundreds. literally – hundreds.

the feelings were hung by the chimney with care.

And then there was a lot of wine at Friendsgiving.

the filtering on this (courtesy of Denise) is representative of the gradually blurry state of feelings that many people fell victim to during the 6 hour dinner of emotions.

The feelings grew.

THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE.

Then there was actual Thanksgiving with my family.

the feelings started making people feel silly.

And gosh darn, all of a sudden there were just a lot of feelings in my life. Where did they all come from? WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ALL OF THESE FEELINGS?

WHAT DO YOU DO, I SAY???

And then I read this quote via one of my dear friends, and I just about lost it:

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

{Robert Brault}

And, well, now I’ve just lost it entirely.

even snarky posters can’t bring me back.

So there you have it, how one month completely destroyed the feelings-free resolve of one Ice Queen. Thanks a lot, Squanto.

the prospects for my emotional state are worse than those for Olaf, this year’s nordic bird.

Friday Favs…on Monday!

by Emily

My favorite things this week are:

The Invisible Helmet

This video (courtesy of a friend):

…anddd my newly re-discovered Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers CD, “The Bear” – courtesy of my lovely friend Amanda and her amazing music taste.  Check out my current favorites: Shady Esperanto and the Young Hearts and Oh, Adeline.

In other news, I successfully completed my 10K run and 45 mile bike ride this past weekend! More on that later but… here are a few sweet pics to tide you over!

getting ready to take off!

my bike shoes, 45 (which actually turned out to be 50) miles later!

post-10K run with my sister

andddd a fun one from the weekend. behold, my running partner. 57-minute 10K, yo!

That’s all, kids. I’m off to sleep under my desk for the rest of the afternoon.*

*I wish

On gratitude

This week started out beyond abysmal. I know, we all have tough weeks. But this week was just sucking the life out of me, right from the start. On Monday, several weeks of sleep deprivation and exhaustion and stress in general finally hit a tipping point and I experienced my first-ever panic attack (I don’t recommend it, folks).

I am thankful for amazing coworkers that realize these things are happening and help to alleviate the stress, calm me down, and provide lots of sparkling water to rehydrate.

As of last Monday, my fundraising for my Livestrong ride and run this weekend was also running a bit low and neglected. I hadn’t really focused on it, and felt a bit weird asking people to give “me” money. I finally got over that, with a reality check that the money wasn’t for me – it was for a much bigger cause.

I am thankful for friends, family, and coworkers who have helped me meet and exceed my fundraising goal with more generous and supportive gifts (and messages) than I could ever imagine.

see: the last donation comment.

I am thankful to my fellow blogging goddesses Denise and Joceline for their support, to my Temptation friends for their witty messages and quick responses to get me those last few dollars to my goal on Wednesday afternoon, to my family for their beyond generous donations, to my sistafriends for ignoring our designated philanthropy for mine instead, and to all of my amazing and sweet friends (many of whom are still students) for making every dollar count.

What else am I grateful for this week? I’ll list a few more things:

Fresh tomatoes

Funny pictures of my sister’s cat

porcelain doll calf photobomb.

Exciting job news for a family member

Work assignments that make me giggle just a little bit

Quality time with my biological sister AND my srat sisters

Coffee (okay, I’m grateful for this every week)

Verklempt

Normally verklempt is the kind of word that I avoid altogether. It implies a lot of emotions and a semi-pretentious vocabulary, neither of which I really desire to posess most of the time. However, recently I’ve had a few too many moments at work where that is legitimately the only way to describe how I feel and why I absolutely love where I am - a whole freaking lot, in fact.

Yesterday was one of those moments, and in tribute to my true inner nerd, I wanted to share it.

Each month we have an all-staff meeting at work. Each month, I leave our meetings feeling as though I am simultaneously drowning and skipping across magic clouds. The task before us is magnificent: create a museum. Raise money, build a collection of artifacts, design and construct a building, develop a narrative, conceptualize that narrative, create educational outreach programs, increase visibility, expand our [tiny] staff, fight for funding in Congress, avoid the next GSA scandal… you know, the usual. But we also have moments in these meetings where the reports stop and staff comes together – these are my verklempt moments, when I realize how outstandingly brilliant these individuals are. When I realize that we are creating a museum that my children will one day walk through. When I realize that we are making the story and experience of a group of people relevant to all Americans.

Yesterday, one of the curators shared a recent acquisition: a palm-sized copy of the Emancipation Proclamation, signed January 1, 1863.  One hundred and fifty years ago, there was no internet (shocking, right?) – no Facebook, no blogging, no online news, not even daily news in many parts of the country.  When Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation freeing slaves, the news took days… weeks… to reach many areas.  In order to spread the news, roughly a million palm-sized, portable copies of the Emancipation Proclamation were distributed by Union soldiers as they traveled. Our curator read the account of one abolitionist serviceman, Thomas Wentworth Higginson, as he shared the Emancipation with his troops on a Sunday morning:

Then followed an incident so simple, so touching, so utterly unexpected and startling, that I can scarcely believe it on recalling, though it gave the keynote to the whole day. The very moment the speaker had ceased, and just as I took and waved the flag, which now for the first time meant anything to these poor people, there suddenly arose, close beside the platform, a strong male voice (but rather cracked and elderly), into which two women’s voices instantly blended, singing, as if by an impulse that could no more be repressed than the morning note of the song-sparrow.—

“My Country, ‘tis of thee, Sweet Land of liberty, Of thee I sing!”

…I never saw anything so electric; it made all other words cheap; it seemed the choked voice of a race at last unloosed. Nothing could be more wonderfully unconscious; art could not have dreamed of a tribute to the day of jubilee that should be so affecting; history will not believe it; and when I came to speak of it, after it was ended, tears were everywhere…. Just think of it!—the first day they had ever had a country, the first flag they had ever seen which promised anything to their people, and here, while mere spectators stood in silence, waiting for my stupid words, these simple souls burst out in their lay, as if they were by their own hearths at home! When they stopped, there was nothing to do for it but to speak, and I went on; but the life of the whole day was in those unknown people’s song.

Almost one hundred and fifty years later, our entire staff sat silent and reverant in our meeting when the curator finished this account. This tattered pamphlet bears the mark of the first time many Americans knew they were American. Felt they were American. And it is sitting here with us now, this piece of freedom. It bears the mark of a strong beginning, and a long road ahead – a road that still stretches in front of us.

There are many things that employees complain about at work each day.  Supervisors are incompetant, people are rude, the water cooler is empty, there are no windows, lunch breaks are a myth. I, too, find fault in my workplace at times.

But then we have those moments that bring us back to the Museum, to our vision, to our purpose. And that is when I am verklempt. Overwhelmed by the task at hand, but even more overwhelmed by the magnitude of intellect, drive, and passion around me each day. Each day I am challenged, frustrated, overwhelmed, engaged, excited, amazed, and grateful.

{That’s a lot of feelings for an ice queen, in case you hadn’t noticed.}

So, dear friends, I’ll leave you with one final piece of my work today:

 And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back.

{Martin Luther King, Jr.}

Time-Traveler

Life in Labels is a year old!  And in celebration of just what a year can mean, we’re each reflecting on our own.  So, here is the lowdown that November ‘11 Emily could’ve given November ‘10 Emily, which ’10 may not have believed, but darn it 11′d been telling the truth the whole truth and nothin’ but it.

“Oh, sup girl, what the haps (-okay that part I’d believe because it’s my ultimate salutation of choice-)?!  So I’m here to give you/me/us the lowdown on your not-so-distant future.  Your Spring semester will be awesome; you and your little sister will dominate unexpectedly at beer pong against two bros over Spring Break, and you’ll remind each other of how awesome this means you both are for months.  Your dad will flex mad flip cup skills, which will weird you out, and then all of this talk of drinking games will begin to feel horrifyingly juvenile, and you’ll over-analyze what it all means.  You’ll graduate in May, making Dean’s List by more than a hair, despite the physics class you are presently bombing (you get a D+ by the way, you slacker).  Just as a heads up they won’t grant you that Art History minor you earned, but you’ll go on talking about the brilliant weirdness of Vito Acconci to people who don’t care and feeling smug when they discuss Rothko on Mad Men, so it’s all good.


“just smudgy squares?!”  JESUS, JANE!

Oh, you’re not moving to New York.  Get pumped, because you’re going to Portland.  You and your best friend/wife will drive out (you’ll ditch Bonnie Ice Cold 2000 in CT and hitch a rental), and you two will brave Ikea and set up your gorgeous apartment together.  Sometimes when you walk across the Burnside bridge you’ll be so happy about living there that you’ll burst into tears.  It’s casual.  You will literally line up your dream job, which sounds scarily unstable at 3 days a week, but they’ll bump it up come Fall.  In the meantime you’ll have started training with Brooke Castillo to be a life coach.  She will, in fact, inspire you to write this year re-cap like this, so you’ll probably reference it in a blog post.


You’ll work for this organization, and you’ll love it, and you’ll make this video for it.

You will date your face off upon arriving in the Northwest and burn yourself out on it, but once you chill the eff out a bit it’ll get much more fun.  You will be met every day by an onslaught of mega-attractive, scruffy, scrappy, oft-bespectacled dudes in various plaids, and this will send you into a tizzy often.  Your first circle of friends in Portland will provide you with many brunch opportunities, and solidify your oft-realized role in life as the straight lady Sun in a solar system of loyal gays.  And your dogs will all play together.  Oh, you’re getting a dog.  His name will be Douglas Fir.  Don’t worry, the barking will stop.

Your dog, while adorable, will be a huge idiot. You will continue wearing velour, leopard-print pajamas. It will continue being awesome.

Now, don’t freak out: you’re going to start jogging.  Nobody will force you into it; you’ll just decide next Summer that it’s suddenly important to you.  You’re gonna like it a lot, which is going to be incredibly confusing.  You still suck at it by the way, but it’s all good.  In fact you’ll shape up health-wise pretty fast; you drink a shit-ton of water (it’s kind of annoying actually), and your vegan kitchen and more mindful eating has you feeling way better than what you’re rockin’ now.  You threw away your scale when you moved, so I have no idea what you weigh these days, but you definitely fill out jeans in all sorts of more flattering ways.  Plus you’ve gotten way better at sleeping enough, atta girl.

Your mom will send you this in an email and you'll laugh really hard at it.

Most importantly, you’re happy.  Like, weirdly, inexplicably happy.  You want to make it happen, and you will, and you’ll enjoy it.  You’re gonna feel more like yourself than you ever have before, and it’ll feel weird trying to find the right words to put around it all until you realize you don’t even have to.  Eyes on the prize, chica, it’s yours.”

You will wake up to this bundle of joy regularly.

Birthday Girl

Oh guess what, internet?!  IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I am 23 now!  And I may not feel instantly older and wiser, but I’ll tell you what I do feel: grateful.  The first person who introduced me to the importance of actively practicing gratitude was a brilliant self-help-coach-empowerment-pleasure-guru-type  who we’ll call the Queen.  The Queen put me in the habit of writing/acknowledging the things for which I’m most grateful.  And whenever my Birthday approaches, I tend to well up on gratitude for the things in my life that make me so happy to celebrate living a whole ‘nother year of it.  Oh, and by the way, I do this sometimes…sometimes I actually acknowledge that I have an emotional existence, so let’s get mushy, reader.

As I move into my 24th year, I am grateful…
…for my seriously kickass family.  I know families can be tricky but mine is seriously top notch.  Mom, Dad, Benj, Bills, and all the animals we’ve killed along the way (oops), thank you for encouraging me to be me and loving me for it.
…for my friends, who are also seriously kickass.  There are more than I could acknowledge individually in so many words, but oh gosh you are each so wonderful, thank you for letting me be, and for loving me for it.
…for places.  Specifically, to Connecticut, Oberlin, New York, Charlottesville, and Portland, thank you for bearing witness to everything I learned in you.
…for Regena Thomashauer, Debbie Rosas, Brooke Castillo, Florence Scovel Shinn and Anne Davin, women/writers/coaches past and present whose work has taught me seemingly everything I’ve ever needed to know, thank you for showing me how fun it is to be a woman.
…for kitty cats. Especially Beatrice.  Thank you for the giggles.
…for M, thank you for letting me a part of your life.  Thank you for teaching me about that part of the human heart that can lose a best friend at 20 and still love her fully at 20-whatever (or 30-whatever, or 40-whatever…).
…for Theater!  Thank you for being so freaking fun!
…for Oberlin and The University of Virginia.  Thank you for educating me.  Thank you for introducing me to incredible friends, experiences, professors, and whole great big pools of knowledge.  Thank you most of all for being such polar opposites.
…that Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote The Little Prince.  Thank you for packaging every giant-sized, important life lesson into a children’s book.
…for every volunteer or non-profit position I’ve ever held.  Thank you for keeping my head out of my own ass and letting me be a part of something bigger.
…for Portland.  Thank you for feeding my soul and letting me call you home.
…for girls.  Thank you for being my sisters.  Thank you for reminding me how happy I am to be among you.  Thank you for continuing to rock it out as brilliantly as we do and thank you for always wanting things to be better.  You’re my homies.
…for boys.  Thank you for being so different, so funny, and so mother effing cute.  Thank you, most importantly, for your facial hair, which makes me weak in the knees.  You’re my bros.
…for glitter nail polish, fruit smoothies, good coffee, well-behaved dogs, brightly colored shoes, funny sounding nose-blows, baths, mangoes, fresh flowers, moleskine notebooks, and greeting cards.  Thank you for reminding me that there are plenty of little things to love.
…for you.  Thank you for reading :-)

And as a big thank you, here is a series of pictures of cats celebrating Birthdays!!!

We shall start with this one because it looks most like Beatrice...


May you all eat cake <3